Sharing parental rights and responsibilities is relatively standard when parents start living separately or divorce. Parents either work out their own arrangements to share custody or rely on a judge to assess the situation and establish guidelines that are in the best interests of their children.
Parents negotiating or litigating custody often focus primarily on physical custody or parenting time. However, they usually also need to share legal custody. Parents generally have authority over their children. They can make decisions about where the children attend school, what religion they observe and even what medical care they receive. Needing to communicate with a co-parent about upcoming decisions and reach an agreement can easily be a source of conflict.
How can parents work cooperatively when they share legal custody or decision-making authority?
By openly sharing information
Having accurate, up-to-date information about children is critical when making decisions about them. Parents generally have an obligation to share information about changes in their children’s academic performance or health. Frequently, they may choose to use a co-parenting app to keep all of that information in one location.
Co-parenting apps provide a centralized location for family schedules. They also allow parents to communicate via writing in a manner that makes their conversations admissible as evidence in family court if necessary. Parents can relate information to one another using a parenting app to keep things calm and ensure everyone has access to the same relevant details.
By allowing time for processing
Frequently, parents need time to consider a situation carefully to fully assess their options. All too often, one parent may effectively blindside the other by demanding that they make an immediate decision about a critical parenting matter.
Doing so can lead to conflict and frustration. It is often better to inform the other parents as early as possible about the need to make a decision about medical care, extracurricular activities or other important matters. Allowing at least a day for consideration is ideal in any non-emergency scenario.
In some cases, parents can plan in advance to avoid conflicts by extending final authority on certain matters to one parent or the other. Other times, they may eventually need to go to court to have a judge settle disagreements about important parenting decisions.
Preparing to handle shared legal custody can set people up for healthier co-parenting dynamics. Written communications, calm interactions and processing time can make it easier for parents to work cooperatively for the benefit of their shared children.